Mothica: shedding light on mental health & addiction in her new song “vices II”
Courtesy of Federica Burelli
The Oklahoma City native Mothica pours her heavy heart into her remake of “Vices” off her debut album “Blue Hour” released in 2020. “Vices” written a few months fresh into sobriety, as Mothica (born McKenzie Ellis) is no stranger to addiction, nor a stranger to being candid about her mental health journey and struggles.
“Vices” details the singer/songwriter’s struggles with recovery, being blunt about using other means to cope while recovering, which can be just as damaging.
In “Vices II”, Mothica takes a heavier approach sonically, as opposed to the original that had a more indie pop sound. While both versions get their point across through an emotionally driven story in each, it’s incredible to see how each version has their own unique elements.
One of the biggest areas of growth you can notice is the change of the lyrics in the bridge. “Vices” represents a past version of herself. “Vices II” represents both a past version and a version that’s growing in the present. Let’s take a look at the lyric change:
“Vices”: “Burning through a cigarette, got somebody in my bed, but I’m still just in my head, in my head // And all the signs are turning red and I’m starting to regret, and I’m starting to regret, to regret these (vices)”
“Vices II”: “You know I’ve been to hell and back // Hundred shows and one rehab // Vicious cycle had to end to throw away my exit plan // Couple habits have to break, you’re the reason I’m okay // If you see me on the stage, I’ll wipe the tears right off your face // You’re the reason I’m okay // And I don’t need, I don’t need these (vices)”
In comparison to each other, you can really take note to how much Mothica has grown in her mental health journey. It takes a lot of courage to be able to open yourself up like that. Especially in the public eye, which not a lot of people are comfortable doing.
I like to think the last half of the bridge of “Vices II” as an ode to her fans, who she endearingly calls her “Mothlings”, as they are one of her reasons to keep going. For her mothlings, her openness about her experiences with major depressive disorder, addiction, etc. helps break stigmas around mental health and related subjects. Which a lot of us relate to. Her vulnerability in her music allows listeners to connect with the songs, whether it’s helping those listing to allow themselves to be vulnerable, inspiring them or just being a part of the listener’s life soundtrack.
Mothica recently played her first show since out of rehab at Download Fest, along with a London headline show and a couple of Germany shows. She hopes to do a US tour soon, which for now remains unannounced.
